Dear Petal’s Edge,
We are not seeing a lot of advice out there about LGBTQ+ weddings and how to structure the ceremony and wedding party and thought you might be able to help. We want to have a fairly traditional ceremony, and we are basing it on the usual “western hetero” ceremony, but since people in our wedding party will be mixed and some non-binary, we are a little unsure of what kinds of flowers to give to the different participants (bouquets? boutonnieres? corsages?). What should determine that kind of thing? What do we call them? Do we just get to make up our own rules? What have you seen done?
-Jamie T.
Thank you so much for reaching out with this question! It’s an important topic, and we’re always eager to make our blog more inclusive and helpful for everyone.
With marriage equality well-established across the U.S., many LGBTQ+ couples have similar questions when planning their weddings. Over the years, we’ve worked with many nontraditional couples, even before marriage equality became law in the DC area. As florists, our main goal has always been to create the floral designs our clients envision for their wedding, no matter how they structure their wedding party. It’s been both fun and insightful to see how different couples approach their ceremonies.
Since we’re not experts in all aspects of wedding planning, we reached out to Bernadette Smith, a Chicago-based wedding planner and founder of 14 Stories and the Equality Institute. 14 Stories specializes in LGBTQ+ weddings, and the Equality Institute educates wedding vendors (like us!) on how to be more inclusive in their practices. When asked about trends in LGBTQ+ weddings, Bernadette shared that there aren’t really any “LGBTQ-specific” trends when it comes to flowers. She noted that while couples may break traditional gender roles within their wedding parties, the floral traditions are generally not that different from heterosexual weddings.
Bernadette also encourages vendors to create a judgment-free space for couples to make their own decisions, whether that’s two grooms requesting both boutonnieres and bouquets or brides mixing up traditional roles! For example, we’ve had grooms who wanted toss bouquets at their reception, which we loved designing! It’s all about making choices that feel authentic to the couple.
As for flowers, our advice remains the same for all weddings: consider the role your attendants will play. If someone is walking down the aisle alone and standing by your side, a bouquet can give them something to do with their hands. For attendants being seated, a corsage (whether on the wrist or pinned) works beautifully. If someone in a suit prefers something less feminine, opting for a boutonniere, a floral pocket square or a more subtle corsage is a great option. The key is customization—your wedding, your rules!
Bernadette also mentioned that some couples get creative with the language they use for their wedding parties. Terms like “the party people” or “attendants” have been popular, but sticking with the traditional names like bridesmaids and groomsmen is still common. Ultimately, it’s about using terms that feel right for the couple.
We’ve found that most LGBTQ+ weddings we’ve worked on follow similar traditions when it comes to flowers, with women often carrying bouquets and men wearing boutonnieres—but this certainly doesn’t have to be the rule. The most important thing is that you and your partner feel comfortable and that your wedding reflects who you are as a couple. We’re here to help bring that vision to life!
We hope that helps!
Do you have a question about flowers or wedding planning? Send us your question in the comment field or by email (to info@petalsedge.com, subject line “Ask the Florist”), and we’ll include it in a future round of Ask the Florist!
